Reward Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hard work is its own reward, but wouldn't you rather have the money?

A COMMONLY seen warning sign on public transport buses reads:
Look under your seat, there could be a bomb. Raise alarm. Earn reward.
A chartered bus meant for college-going girls had the warning altered:
Look under your seat; it may be a boy. Don't raise alarm; take him home as a reward.

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly
overused. If there's somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him
this test to discern the truth.
THE ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You...
1. Straighten it.
2. Ignore it.
3. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered,
self-adjusting picture frame.
The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It
depends." in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."
SOCIAL SKILLS - Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction.
"Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:
stimulating and thought-provoking conversation, more...

The FishermanOne day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family."You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!"The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?""Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer."And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.The businessman more...

WELL, THERE WERE THREE PEOPLE WITH THREE DIFFERENT PROFESSIONS. ONE WAS BANKER, SECOND DOCTOR AND THE THIRD WAS A LAWYER. THEY ARE VERY GOOD FRIENDS FOR A LONG TIME. THEY DECIDED TO GO FOR STRIP SHOW IN NEW YORK. SO, THEY ENETR THIS POSH STRIP BAR "FOXYLADY". THE LADIES WERE HIP. THE GUYS WERE HAVING A GOOD CHAT. ONE OF THE STRIPPERS COMES CLOSER JIGGLING HER BOOBS, UP & DOWN. THE BANKER GOES FORWARD, RECKONING HER TO COME TO HIM, HE PUTS HIS HEAD IN BETWEEN HER THIGHS AND KISS HER THIGHS AND TUCKS IN $50. SHE GOES OFF HAPPY. THEN ANOTHER LADY COMES WITH THE SAME ROUTINE EXPECTING A BIGGER REWARD PUTS HER BOOBS ON TO THE FACE OF THE DOCTOR... JUGGLES IT BACK AND FORTH. HE WAS LICKING AND ENJOYING. HAPPY GAVE HER HUNDRED BUCKS. FINALLY, ANOTHER LADY COMES EXPECTING A BIGGER REWARD. HE TAKES OFF THE TOP AND THEN PRESS HER ASS ON TO THE LAWYER'S FACE.... HE HAD A LOT OF FUN... BUT HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY CASH WITH HIM. YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID: THE LAWYER TOOK HIS AMEX... SLID IT more...

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!"
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?" "Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer.
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!"
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.
"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman. The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a more...