Businessman Jokes

A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500. So they do. Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT. On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note: Dear Madam: Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that; 1) it had never been occupied
2) that there was plenty of heat
3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check more...

A businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his driver's license number, his address, etc. but to no avail.
The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the
hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.
One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big.
Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well, who should he see more...

A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride. His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle. Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice.
"Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her. What can I do?"
The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, "Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy her."
"Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help."
Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at work to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front door when more...

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. "You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!" The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?" "Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer. "And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, more...

Sindhis are known both for their sharp practices as well as for their clannishness: they drive hard bargains but also help fellow Sindhis to find employment.

A Sindhi businessman on a visit to Hong Kong wanted to have a silk suit made and went to a Sindhi tailor's shop at the airport, which advertised suits made to measure in a couple of hours.

The visiting businessman selected the material and asked how much it cost.

The tailor replied:' Sir, seeing you are a fellow Sindhi I will offer you a special price. A suit of this material costs 200 Hong Kong dollars, as you can see clearly marked on the label. I charge everyone else two hundred dollars but not a fellow Sindhi. I won't ask for 190 dollars not even 180 dollars. For you it will be 170 dollars, not a cent more.'

'Why should you lose money on me just because I happen to be a fellow Sindhi,' replied the visitor.' So what should I offer for this suit? Seventy dollars? That I would to a more...