Ring Jokes / Recent Jokes

The beautiful Executive Assistant to the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback.
However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No problem! I buy. I buy."
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."
The man pauses for more...

The bell-ringer for the church had just passed away, so the priest was looking for someone new to ring the bell.
Then one day this man comes out of nowhere and starts banging on the door.
The priest opens the door and sees that the man has no arms.
The priest asks him, "How can you ring the bell?"
The man said, "Let me show you."
So they went up to the top of the bell tower and the man started hitting the bell with his head.
The bell starts to swaying and the man misses, and then he goes flying through the window.
Two more priests come running and ask, "What happened? Who was that?"
The second priest said, "I don't know but that face sure rings a bell!"

A man walks into a jewelry store on a friday with a sexy blond on tow.
"We would like to have a look at your ring collection" the man says to the jeweler.
The jeweler shows him a couple of rings in the R10k range....
"No" the man replies, "i'm looking for something REALLY nice".
The jeweler then takes him to the back, into the safe and past the security guards to the seriously expensive rings.
The man selects the most impressive one and asks the jeweler - -How much for this one?
R250k replies the jeweler, while watching the blond's face light up like a christmas tree.
OK, i will take it says the man, but can i pay by cheque?
"I am afraid we do not accept cheques" replies the jeweler.
OK says the man- How about i write you the cheque, then you keep the ring and the cheque until the cheque clears, and only then will we pick the ring up.
Fantastic plan, says the jeweler!!
Then the man leaves the jewelry more...

**** African King ****
The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client.
The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her...don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.
So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man,"I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."
The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No problem! I have. I have."
Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in more...

A man was passing a country estate and saw a sign on the gate. It read: "Please ring bell for the caretaker." He rang the bell and an old man appeared. "Are you the caretaker?" the fellow asked. "Yes, I am," replied the old man. "What do you want?" "I`d just like to know why you can`t ring the bell yourself."