Ringing Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Hunchback of Notre Dame is about to retire, and has been notified by his bosses that he must first find a replacement bell ringer.
He places a notice in the "Help Wanted" section of the local paper, and one day an applicant climbs the stairs to the bell tower, in search of employment.
The Hunchback cautions him on the dangers involved in the job - mainly, that of slipping and falling to one's death while bell ringing. The applicant seems unimpressed by this, and explains to the Hunchback that he comes from a long line of bell ringers, and that his family uses a special bell ringing technique.
The Hunchback, eager to see this, asks him to audition. The applicant goes up to a large bell perched high in the tower, pulls it towards him, and smashes his forehead into it to make it sound. Dazed from the impact, he stumbles and falls from the tower to his death below. The Hunchback climbs down there to find a crowd gathered and a policeman who says, "I see more...
LONDON - A baffled British woman who lost a mobile phone dialed
the number and heard it ringing inside her friend's dog.
Rachel Murray, 27, had left the cellphone under her Christmas tree as a
surprise gift for her flatmate, The Sun newspaper reported on Friday.
But chum Tony Dangerfield's bloodhound Charlie crept into the room and
greedily wolfed down the mobile phone, leaving only a pile of torn paper.
After a frantic search for the phone, Murray obtained the number from the
telephone company, dialed and heard muffled ringing from sleeping Charlie's
stomach.
"At first I thought Charlie was lying on the phone - then I realized where
it was," she said. "I couldn't believe he'd swallowed it."
The dog was rushed to a vet, who advised Murray and Dangerfield to let
nature take its course.
Twenty four hours later the phone duly emerged - in perfect working order.
Dating process:
6 weeks: I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months: Of course I love U.
6 years: GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks: Honey, I'm home.
6 months: BACK!!
6 years: What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks: Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months: I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living
room.
6 years: Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months: Here, for you.
6 years: PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years: AGAIN!!!
Apology:
6 weeks: Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months: Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years: What's not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks: Oh my God, you more...
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute. Listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had more...
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist, he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to the pharmacy to demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it."
"This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.
When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head more...