Roads Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Richard M. Nixon: I just want to make one thing perfectly clear. The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, more...

Why did the chicken cross the road?
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road! ” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
BILL CLINTON: We categorically deny the chicken did cross the road and any allegations to the contrary by the right-wing extremeists should be postponed until I am out of office.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? ”
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed = the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new more...

MOSES: And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." and the chicken did cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.
RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road, I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road!
JERRY SIENFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't any ever think to ask what was this chicken doing out of his pen walking around all over the place anyway?'
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken did cross the road reveals your underlying insecurity
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicke Office 780. Which will not only cross roads but will also lay eggs and file your important documents.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road" but, it is rather, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, and whom have we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great more...

Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Roseanne Barr: Urrrrrp. What chicken?
Roland Barthes: The chicken wanted to expose the myth of the road,
Ludvig von Beethoven: What? Speak up.
Leopold Bloom: Wonder why chickens cross roads. Must be some law. Migration maybe. Mrs Marion Bloom.
Molly Bloom: The chicken crossed the road well Poldy I dont know why why do you worry about such stupid bloody things O speaking of stupid bloody things here it comes again damn it its only been three weeks I wonder is there something wrong with me yes
George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.
Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.
Candide: To cultivate its garden.
Bill the Cat: Oop Ack.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Joseph Conrad: Mistah Chicken, he dead.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace more...

Why did the chicken cross the road?:
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having more...

The US Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates. Why did the English people build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Okay! Why did the wagons use that odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagons would break on some of the old, long distance roads, because that's the spacing of the old wheel ruts.
So who built these old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe were built by Imperial Rome for the benefit of their legions. The roads have been used ever more...

>Here's a collection of answers given when different people were asked
>this simple question:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Political figures:

>Chandrika Kumaranatunga:
>*. It was a result of the 17 year rule of the UNP. I will appoint a
> commission to look into that matter.
>Ranil Wickramasinghe:
>*. The UNP as a national party will oppose any such move by any
> chicken to cross roads. We will hold a Satyagraha, and file a
> violation of fundamental rights case in the supreme court!!
>G. L. Peris:
>*. The chicken didn't actually cross the road. I can prove this to
> you by using the statistics released by the Central Bank. There have
> been such instances in other developing countries as well.... This
> shows very good economic growth.
>C. V. Goonaratne:
>*. The chicken crossed the road to end the 17 year old curse of
> bribery, corruption, and terror... Upon reaching more...