"Sri Lankans Answered....." joke

>Here's a collection of answers given when different people were asked
>this simple question:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Political figures:

>Chandrika Kumaranatunga:
>*. It was a result of the 17 year rule of the UNP. I will appoint a
> commission to look into that matter.
>Ranil Wickramasinghe:
>*. The UNP as a national party will oppose any such move by any
> chicken to cross roads. We will hold a Satyagraha, and file a
> violation of fundamental rights case in the supreme court!!
>G. L. Peris:
>*. The chicken didn't actually cross the road. I can prove this to
> you by using the statistics released by the Central Bank. There have
> been such instances in other developing countries as well.... This
> shows very good economic growth.
>C. V. Goonaratne:
>*. The chicken crossed the road to end the 17 year old curse of
> bribery, corruption, and terror... Upon reaching the other side of
> the road, the chicken will ensure a new era of prosperity.... and a real
> difference.
>Mangala Samaraweera:
>*. There aren't any chicken crossing any roads. It is a deliberate
> lie woven by the United National Party to defame the government of her
> excellency Chandrika B. Kumaranatunga.
>Anuruddha Ratwatte:
>*. The road will be crossed within a matter of months.
> (after four years): The chicken has crossed 96% of the road, the rest
> will be crossed within a couple of months.
>Anura Bandaranaika: *. The chicken crossed the road so that it could be in the
> opposition.
>M. H. M. Asraff:
>*. Ask the chicken to come back immediately. Otherwise we will
> withdraw all support to any chicken...
> Bill Clinton:
>*. I did not have an improper sexual relationship with that chicken!

Sports personalities:

>Arjuna Ranatunga:
>*. Actually, I thought that it was a pretty good road to cross... so
> I thought of inviting the chicken to cross.... I think we'd have a
> better chance chasing it... that's what the boys like to do.
>Sanath Jayasuriya:
>*. Err.. yes. The road was coming to the chicken.... So I just
> thought I will go there and start crossing... Yes, I enjoyed crossing
> the road.
> Yes. Thank you.
>Romesh Kaluwitharana:
>*. Arrr yes, I just did my usual thing... Yes, it was a very good
> road to cross. I enjoyed it. Yes. Thanks. Yes. Thank you.
>Aravinda De Silva:
>*. Well, I thought that it was a very good road to cross. The road
> came to the chicken fairly well... and the road was turning a bit as
> well... I just went there and concerntrated on crossing the road.... I
> enjoyed crossing it. I thought that the boys helped me a lot too.... I
> couldn't have crossed the road without them....
>Muttiah Muralitharan:
>*. Yes, it was a turning road... I think it helped the chicken a lot.
> I enjoyed crossing the chicken...
>Tony Greig:
>*. Oh, these Sri Lankan chicken... these guys are marvelous.. these
> chicken from Sri Lanka... I love to see them crossing the road...
> they are so full of enthusiasm & energy... They are the best.