Rolls Jokes / Recent Jokes

On his way to JFK to fly to Zurich, a businessman stopped off at a bank in
downtown NYC and asked for an immediate loan of $5, 000. The loan officer
squinted, needing collateral. "Here, take the keys to my Rolls," the man
offered. The loan was promptly issued, and the car was secured in the
bank's underground parking area for safekeeping.
Two weeks later, the man returned to settle up his loan and reclaim his
Rolls. "That will be $5, 000 in principal plus $15. 40 in interest," the
loan officer reported. The man wrote out a check and started to walk
away.
"Please, sir," the loan officer interjected, "while you were gone, I found
out that you are a multimillionaire. Why in the world would you need to
borrow $5, 000?"
The man smiled. "Where else in Manhattan could I find secured parking for
two weeks for only $15. 40?"

Competition
Shlomo, driving a Yugo in Tel Aviv, pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce, rolls down his window, and smiles at the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that`s a nice car. Have you got a phone in it? I`ve got one in my Yugo!"
David, the driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes, I have a phone."
"Cool!" continues Shlomo. "Have you got a fridge in there, too? I got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!"
David, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."
Shlomo goes on, "That`s great! Listen, have you got a TV in there? I got a one right next to me."
David, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"
"Say," persists Shlomo, "Have you got a bed in your car? I got one in the back of my Yugo!"
Upset that he hadn’t, David immediately drove off straight more...

This man in a Ford Granada pulls up next to a guy in a Rolls Royce at a stop sign. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls: "Hey, you got a telephone in there?"
The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do."
"I got one too... see?"
"Uh, huh, yes, that's very nice."
Then the man in the Granada says, "You got a fax machine?"
"Why, actually, yes, I do."
"I do too! See? It's right here!"
"Uh-huh."
The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Granada says, "So, do YOU have a double bed in back there?"
And the guy in the Rolls says, "NO! Do
you?"
"Yep, got my double bed right in back here - see?!"
The light turns and the man in the Granada takes off.
Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he goes immediately to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double more...

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children:
The First Step
First child: My wife grabbed the camera; I grabbed the video camera. My wife took four rolls of film. We immediately ran out to the one-hour developing place and had all four rolls developed with double prints. We had the best picture blown up to 24" x 36" and framed. We hung it up in the entry hall. I had a professional studio turn the four hours of video I taped into a one-hour documentary complete with voice-over by a local anchor-man.
Second child: We took one roll of film and five minutes worth of video. The next day we took the film and had it developed by a twenty-four hour developing center. I took the best picture and put it into my wallet.
Third child: We couldn't find the video camera and we only had five shots left on the roll of film. We took all five shots but I more...

My wife and I are both the youngest child. Combine that with our own experience as parents and we often satirically talk about how things change as you have more children: Feeling the Baby MoveFirst Child: I placed my hand on my wive's tummy every chance I could for two months waiting for that first time when I could feel the baby move. Hours upon hours I waited until that magic moment when, I felt this little movement. We called all of our relatives to tell them about the blessed experience.Second Child: When it first happened, my wife called me at the office. I quickly ran home and felt the baby move. We included the experience in all of our letter to our family.Third Child: She told me the baby moved. I told her I would check it our during the next commercial break. I missed out because her mother called on the telephone so I went on watching Monday night football. By the end of the third quarter, I finally felt the baby move.Fourth Child: We were in bed and I was trying to sleep. more...

An American Indian goes into the general store and says, "Me need toilet paper." The proprietor replies "I have SuperSoft at $6 for four rolls, or I have No-name at $4 for four rolls."
The Indian decides "Me take No-name." Two weeks later, the Indian returns to the store. He says, "Me have name for No-name toilet paper."
"What is it?" the owner asks. "John Wayne," says the Indian. "Why John Wayne?" the owner asks. "Because it rough, tough, and take no shit off Indian."

Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, “Why’d you do that? ”
The trooper says, “You’re in Alabama, son. When I pull you over you’ll have your license ready. ”
Driver says, “I’m sorry, officer, I’m not from around here. ”
The trooper runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, “What’d you do that for? ”
The cop says, “Just making your wishes come true. ”
The passenger says, “Huh? ”
The cop says, “I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna say, ‘I wish that jerk would’ve tried that shit more...