Rome Jokes / Recent Jokes
Excerpted from the Columbus Dispatch, (compiled by Accent staff) 5/15/91:
"Accent asked students at Columbus' Beck School, and Dublin's Chapman
Elementary to study a list of 20 axioms with the key words missing."
-If you can't stand the heat, get a Pool.
-If you can't stand the heat, get out of the oven.
-A bird in the hand is messy.
-Don't count your chickens, eat them.
-You can't teach an old dog new math.
-When in Rome, do Roman numerals in math.
-When in Rome, do bulls run around town?
-Too many cooks, so little meals.
-A fool and his money are my best friends.
-A penny saved is one cent.
-Look before you run into a pole.
-A watched pot never disappears.
-A rolling stone makes you flat.
-A rolling stone is a singing rock group.
-Every cloud has a wet spot.
Mrs. Jones was walking down a Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty.
"Hello," said the Father, "And how are you Mrs. Jones? Didn't I marry you two years ago?"
She replied "You did that, Father."
"And are there any little ones yet?"
"No, not yet, Father," she said.
"Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."
"Oh, thank you, Father." And away she went.
Several years later they met again.
"Well now, Mrs. Jones," said the Father, "How are you?"
"Oh, very well," she said.
"And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?"
"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles - ten in all.
"Now isn't that wonderful !!!, " he said "And how is your fine husband?"
"Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome to more...
Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down a street in Dublin and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Reilly.
"Hello," the Father said, "and how is Mrs. O'Donovan? Did I not marry you a couple of years ago?"
"That you did, Father," she replied.
"And are there any little ones yet?" he asked. "No, Father, not as yet," she replied.
"Well, I'm off to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for you," said Father O'Reilly. "Thank you, Father," she replied and continued on her way.
A few years later they met again. "Well now, Mrs. O'Donovan," the Father said, "how are you?" And tell me, have you any little ones yet?"
"Oh yes, Father," she replied. I've had three sets of twins and four singles - ten in all."
"Now is't that wonderful," he replied. "And how is that lovely husband of yours?"
"He's well, Father. He's gone off to Rome more...
Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty.
"Hello," said the Father, "And how is Mr. O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?"
She replied, "You did that, Father."
"And are there any little ones yet?"
"No, not yet, Father," she said
"Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."
"Oh, thank you, Father," and away she went.
Several years later they met again.
"Well now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?"
"Oh, very well," said she.
"And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?"
"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles - ten in all."
"Now isn't that wonderful?" he said, "and how is your wonderful husband?"
"Oh," she said, more...
This is something to think about when negative people
are doing their best to rain on your parade.
So remember this story the next time
someone who knows nothing,
and cares less, tries to make your life miserable.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled
for a trip to Rome with her husband.
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser,
who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always
late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called
Teste."
"Don't go more...
110
The largest bay in the world is Hudson Bay, Canada
111
The largest church in the world is Bascilica of St.Peter, Vatican City, Rome
112
The largest peninsula in the world is Arabia
113
The largest gulf in the world is Gulf of Mexico
114
The tallest statue in the world is the Motherland, Volgograd, Russia
115
The largest railway tunnel in the world is the Oshimzu Tunnel, Japan
116
The world's loneliest island is the Tristan da Cunha
117
The word 'Quiz' was coined by Jim Daly, Irishman
118
The original meaning of 'Quiz' was Trick
119
The busiest shopping centre of London is Oxford Street
120
The residence of the Queen in London is Buckingham Palace
121
Adolf Hitler was born in Austria
122
The country whose National Anthem has only music but no words is Bahrain
123
The largest cinema in the world is the Fox Theatre, Detroit, USA
124
The country where there are no cinema more...