Root Jokes / Recent Jokes

A short history of medicine:I have an earache. 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

This poem was written by Jon Saxton (an author of math textbooks).
((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0
Or for those who have trouble with the poem:
A Dozen, a Gross and a Score,
plus three times the square root of four,
divided by seven,
plus five times eleven,
equals nine squared and not a bit more.
'Tis a favorite project of mine
A new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at 3
For it's simpler, you see,
Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9.
("The Lure of the Limerick" by W.S. Baring-Gould, p.5. Attributed to Harvey L. Carter).
If inside a circle a line
Hits the center and goes spine to spine
And the line's length is "d"
the circumference will be
d times 3.14159
If (1+x) (real close to 1)
Is raised to the power of 1
Over x, you will find
Here's the value defined:
2.718281...
Here's a limerick - looks better on paper.
/3
/
| 2 3 x 3.14 3_
| z dz more...

A short history of medicine: I have an ear ache.
2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A. D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A. D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

The President of the United States, George W. Bush, has asked that all Americans and Canadians unite together in a common cause to root out terrorists hiding in our community.
Since the Taliban cannot stand nudity and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, on Saturday afternoon at 2:00 p.m. EST, all North American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighbourhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men should position themselves in lawn chairs in front of your house to prove that you think it's ok to see other women nude. (Since they do not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
Names and addresses of non-participants should be sent to CIA Headquarters, Langley, Virginia.
The United States of America appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your efforts.

one day a man said to his son go get some fruit pills from the chemist.so the boy is skipping down the road chanting " fruit pills for daddy, fruit pills for daddy" and he runs into a poll and bumps his head and forgets what he was saying. then he got up saying root pills for daddy, root pills for daddy he gets to the chemist and says can i have some root pills please and the lady says yes but tell your daddy that he needs to take 1 every 24 hours.the boy is skipping home chanting 1 every 24 hours,1 every 24 hours and bumps into a poll.then he gets up saying 24 every 1 hour, 24 every 1 hour he gets home gives his father the pills and says take 24 every 1 hour.the father reads the bottle and says these are not fruit pills go back and get some.so the boy is runing chanting fruit pilss for daddy, fruit pills for daddy and runs into a poll he gets up saying root pills for daddy, root pills for daddy.he gets to the chemist and asks for some root pills the lady asks how are you more...

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

2000 A.D. - That antibiotic doesn't work anymore. Here, eat this root.

Johnny: "Dad, stop drinking my root beer!!! Do I get free refills?"
Dad: "Sure - I backwashed!"