Root Jokes / Recent Jokes

I have an earache.
2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A. D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A. D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B. C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B. C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A. D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A. D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A. D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A. D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

Nothing has really changed, even though we think we've gotten smarter, and technologically advanced. We've just gone back to square one!
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2004 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

A fool and his money are asked to go everywhere! A fool and his money are soon elected. A fool and his money are soon popular. A fool and his money is my kind of customer! If money's the root of all evil, why do churches want it? All I ask is to prove that money can't make me happy. Come to Florida, bring money, BUT GET THE HECK OFF OUR BEACH! Even the blind can see money. Expert - Someone who knows less, but makes more money. It's not the money I want, it's the stuff. Life is a game. Money is how we keep score. Money burns a hole in my pocket...how about yours? Money is like an arm or leg, use it or lose it. Money is the root of all bills. Money may buy "friendship," but it cannot buy love. Money Talks - and it usually says NO! Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you money. Political Motto: I had some morals; sold them for money. This country has the best politicians money can buy. Time and Money. Two things we don't have enough of... Turbo-Tax took money out of my more...

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

Why is it called a soap opera when nobody sings?
Can a unborn baby fart or burp?
If a General is a higher ranking officer than a Major, then why is a major illness worse than a general illness?
Why don't they make Root Beer flavored ice cream? Wouldn't it be better than root beer floats?
What is the point in saying "may I ask" and then follow it up with a question?
Is it possible to be allergic to water?
When an atheist swears on a Bible before they testify in court, do they have to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth since they don't believe in God?
If a pack of gum says that each piece is 10 calories, is that amount just chewing the gum, or also for swallowing it?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
How come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does?
Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand more...

This is the story of a different kind. No melting CPU's, no screaming
disc drives, just the kind of psychological torture that scars a man
for life.
I had a 9:00 meeting with my sales rep. I needed to buy an entire new
series 70, the works. He said it'd take about an hour. Three hours
later, we'd barely got the datacomm hardware down on paper, so he
invited me downstairs for lunch.
This was my first experience in an HP cafeteria. Above the service
counter was a menu which began...
MMU's (Main Menu Units)
0001A Burger. Includes sesame-seed bun.
Must order condiments 00110A separately
001Deletes seeds.
002 Expands burger to two patties.
00020A Double cheeseburger, preconfigured. Includes cheese,
bun and condiments.
001 Add-on bacon.
002 Delete second patty.
003 Replaces second patty with extra cheese.
00021A Burger Upgrade to Double Cheeseburger
001 From Single Burger.
002 From Double Burger.
003 more...