Rope Jokes / Recent Jokes

There Were Eleven People Hanging Onto A Rope That Came Down From A Plane. Ten Were Sardar, And One Was A Girl. They All Decided That One Person Should Get Off Because If They Didn? T, Then The Rope Would Break And Everyone Would Die. No One Could Decide Who Should Go, So Finally The Girl Said, “I’ll Get Off. ”After A Really Touching Speech From The Girl Saying She Would Get Off, All Of The Sardar Started Clapping.

A farmer is sitting in the local pub inebriated. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk? ”
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.
Man: So what happened that is so horrible?
Farmer: Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I go the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.
Man: That’s not so bad, what’s the big deal?
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.
Man: So then what happened.
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over.
Man: Again?
Farmer: Something’s ya just can’t explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right.
Man: So then what did you do?
Farmer: I sat back more...

Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Back in the Old West three Texas cowboys were about to be hung for cattle rustling. The lynch mob brought the three men to a tree right at the edge of the Rio Grande. The idea was that when each man had died, they'd cut the rope and he'd drop into the river and drift out of sight They put the first cowboy in the noose, but he was so sweaty and greasy he slipped out, fell in the river and swam to freedom. They tied the noose around the second cowboy's head. He, too, oozed out of the rope, dropped into the river and got away. As they dragged the third Texan to the scaffold, he resisted, "Please! Would yaw'l tighten that noose a little bit? I can't swim!"

And so it came to pass, that the king of the tribe (pick your location) died, while his son was still a young child. The tribe gathered around the king's grass hut, and mourned. And the minister took charge, while the boy grew.
But a minister cannot sit upon the throne, so it was stored in the royal grass hut. To keep anyone else from sitting upon it, a rope was attached and the huge, ornately-carved chair was hoisted up inside the ceiling of the domed hut, until the boy came of age to be crowned.
One day, as the boy was playing quietly in the hut, the rope broke, and the heavy throne plummeted to the floor, crushing the poor prince to death.
To this day, we remember that PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GRASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T STOW THRONES.

With a lousy year under his belt a tractor salesman was traveling down a dusty back road in Iowa, when he came across a farmer working his field with an old, broken down tractor. He jumped out of his truck and gave his best sales pitch to the old guy.
The farmer stroked his chin and said, "The other day I was getting ready to milk Betsy. I was just getting started when she kicked me with her left leg. So I grabbed me a piece of rope and tied her leg to the stall. Just as I was starting again, she kicked me with her right leg. I grabbed another piece of rope and tied leg to the other side of the stall. I'll be darned if when I started again she smacked in the face with her tail. I grabbed another piece of rope and tied her tail to the rafter above. Mister, if you can convince my wife that I was just trying to milk that cow, I'll buy a tractor."

An old farmer was sitting on his porch, holding a small piece of rope.His guest, a city man, asked, "What's the rope for?"The farmer said, "It's my weather vane.""How can you tell weather with that thing?" asked the city man. "When it goes from side to side, it's windy. When it's wet, it's raining."