Rose Jokes / Recent Jokes
Some interesting similarities between the Titanic video and the Clinton Grand Jury testimony video:-
Titanic Video: $9.99 on internet
Clinton Video: $9.99 on internet
Titanic Video: Over three hours long
Clinton Video: Over three hours long
Titanic Video: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton Video: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic Video: Villain: White Star Line
Clinton Video: Villain: Ken Starr
Titanic Video: Jack is a starving artist
Clinton Video: Bill is a B.S. artist
Titanic Video: Jack enjoys a good cigar in one part.
Clinton Video: Ditto for Bill
Titanic Video: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined
Clinton Video: Ditto for Monica
Titanic Video: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton Video: Let's not go there
Titanic Video: Rose gets to keep her jewelry
Clinton Video: Monica is forced to return her more...
There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him.
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
So, the man in the boat drove off.
The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in.
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me."
The person in the boat then left.
The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in.
Jim said, "That's okay."
The woman said, "Are you sure?"
Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me."
Finally, the water rose more...
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me."
"That''s great! What was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn''t remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the iong stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that''s it!" He turned to his wife... "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
The Rabbi rose with a red face and said, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumour that I belong to the KKK. This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community."
No one moved.
The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and! in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!"
Again all was quiet.
Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop, rose in the third pew. Her head was
bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke.
"Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan. I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets..."
...and then they more...
The Rabbi rose with a red face and said, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumour that I belong to the KKK. This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community."
No one moved.
The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and! in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!"
Again all was quiet.
Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop, rose in the third pew. Her head was
bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke.
"Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan. I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The Rabbi rose with a red face..."Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community."
No one moved.
The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!"
Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose in the third pew. Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke.
"Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan... I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The Rabbi rose with a red face..."Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K.This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community."No one moved.The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!"Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose in the third pew. Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke."Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan... I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."