Rose Jokes / Recent Jokes

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose. But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as LardAss, Butt-Breath, Peanut-Head and Useless. EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22. 50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. BATHROOMS: A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument! DRESSING UP: A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. A woman will more...

When watching the Clinton video, did you get the feeling of "deja vu" - of
watching something that you had just seen in a similar structure?
Well your brain never fails. By reading below, you will see the remarkable
similarities between the Clinton Video and the Titanic Video. Was this just by
coincidence... or much more.
You be the judge.
Titanic vs. Clinton: Incredible Similarities
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long and $9.99 on the Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long and $9.99 on the Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: more...

There were three daughters who wanted to know how they got they're names. So the first daughter asks her father, "
Daddy, how did I get the name rose?"
The father says "
You got the name rose because when you were born your mother and I dropped a rose on your head."
Then the second daughter came up and asked, "
Daddy, how did I get the name Violet?"
Her father replied "
You got the name violet because when you were born your mother and I dropped a violet on your head."
Then the last daughter came up and asked, "
hafgahfg;lasjfl;ajsdfjjasdfhhgl;af."
And the father replied, "
Shut up fridge!"

A rose by any other name would stick you just as bad and draw just as much blood when you grab a thorn.
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

One day a priest decides to visit a school.
He walks through the playground where the kids are out playing.
He decides to talk to some so he walks up to a little girl and asks for her name.
The little girl replies "Rose".
"Thats a nice name", said the priest "how did you get it".
The little girl says "The first time i went out with my mommy a rose fell onto my head so she called me rose".
"Thats nice" said the priest who moves onto another little girl.
"Hello whats your name" says the priest
The second little girl replies"Daisy"
"Thats a nice name" said the priest "How did you get it?"
The girl replies
"The first time my mommy took me out a daisy fell onto my head so she called me daisy"
"Very nice" says the priest who decides to move onto the next child.
He sees a young boy playing by himself in the corner so he goes over to more...

The name of the movie would be "Goa to Bombay".
Madhuri has to be Rose and who else but Shahrukh as Jack. Madhuri's fiance would be Gulshan Grover who mutters "bad man" every time he sees Shahrukh.

Amitabh Bacchan would make a guest appearance as the Ship's captain and would be waltzing with Madhuri during the party. Of course, he would not die.

Shahrukh will be travelling with his sister and 5 other chamchas from college plus 50 extras who are well trained in every dance sequence in the world.

The movie would only last for 7 hours. Thanks to great piece of editing, there would be only 22 songs in the movie out of 30 in the CD.

The ship would be overflowing with extras whom you normally find in movies that have a court scene full of people or a slum full of aam-janta.

The ship will start sinking, not because of the iceberg but because of excessive on-board population.

The infamous lovemaking in more...

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose? I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it!