Row Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins. In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until after graduation from medical or law school. - ---------------- Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk!----------------- Q: Why are there so many Italian men in New York named Tony? A: When they came over to this country, they had "To NY" stamped on their foreheads. - ---------------- A Russian, a Saudi, a North Korean and an American are walking down the street. A pollster stops them and asks, "Excuse me, what is your opinion of the meat shortage?" The Saudi replies, "Excuse me, what's a' shortage'?" The Russian replies, "Excuse me, what's meat?" The North Korean replies, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?" Finally, the American replies, "What's' Excuse me?'"----------------- Q: What do New Zealanders call a sheep in their back yard? A: A more...
Q: a sardarji going to london on a plane, how can you steal his window seat?
A: tell him the seats that are going to london are
All in the middle row
A man and his wife live in a row house where all of the houses look alike. The wife tells the husband that every time he goes out he returns to the wrong house and disturbs the neighbors.
To fix the problem the man puts a lantern on his porch to remind him of his house.
So, like clockwork he goes out and gets plastered. Upon returning home he sees the lantern and says to himself "There's my house and there's the lantern I put on the porch."
Satisfied with himself he walks onto the porch and puts his key in the door, "I knew it, this my house cause my key works."
Now even more impressed with himself, he enters into the house and goes to his bedroom. Upon entering he exclaims, "I knew this was my house cause there is my wife, and there I am in bed with her!"
Two gay men were partners for life and finally decided they wanted a child of their own. After weeks of consultation with Doctors and Psychiatrists the two decided to mix their sperm and implant it into a willing surrogate mother. Soon they learned that the procedure had worked and that the surrogate was pregnant and doing well. After the usual period of time they got the call they were waiting for... their baby was born! So they rushed to the hospital to see the little one. Looking through the viewing glass they noticed several newborn girls in a row... all of which were crying and carrying on intensely. Then they spotted a cute little baby boy at the end of the row, smiling and looking at them with great joy... this little baby had to be theirs. Soon they saw a nurse and she confirmed that yes, indeed the peaceful little boy was their son. They started congratulating each other, saying how lucky they are that they have such a perfectly happy well behaved son. The nurse, hearing more...
Blue water Navy truism; There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.
If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.
Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.
When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to
the scene of the crash.
Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the
pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
Never trade luck for skill.
The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?",
"Where are we?" and "Oh S#!+!"
Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
Progress in airline flying; now a flight more...
Words were the big topic of the million dollar television quiz show where Professor Geewhiz challenged the audience to stump him with a word he couldn't put into a sentence.
"Garn!" shouted a bloke in the third row.
"Garn?" said the professor, "Garn? It's not a swear word, is it?"
"No," said the punter in the third row, "Garn."
Time elapsed, the buzzer went and the crowd applauded.
"You've stumped him," said the MC, "How do you use the word, sir?"
"Garn get fucked," said the punter who was immediately thrown out and the show closed until further notice.
It took the network twelve months to get over it. Finally they had the gumption to start it up again with the proviso that they would have to screen the audience in future.
On the opening night they scrutinized each member of the public as they arrived before asking for more...
At a prominent Parisian brothel, the madam opened the ornate gilded door to see an elderly Jewish man. His clothes were dishevelled and he looked needy.
"Can I help you?" the madam asked.
"I'm here for Natalie," the old man replied.
"Sir, Natalie's one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else..."
"No, I must see Natalie."
Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man she charged $1000 per visit.
The man never blinked and reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon the man calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding Natalie. Natalie explained no-one had ever come back two nights in a row and there were no discounts. It was still $1000.
Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later.
When he showed up the more...