Run Jokes / Recent Jokes

Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly. Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone. Man who run in front of car get tired. Man who run behind car get exhausted. Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ. Man who walk thru airport turn stile sideways going to Bangkok. Man with one chop stick go hungry. Man who scratches ass should not bite finger nails. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk. Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth. War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it. Man who drive like hell bound to get there. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement. more...

Two Rabbits are running from a group of foxes. They hide in a pile of hay, one rabbit says to the other one "ok we can run for it or we can stay here and out number them. And the other rabbit says, "were going to run for it you idiot Im your brother.

A rich, lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life, so she placed a personal ad that read: Rich Widow Looking for Man to Share Life and Fortune with the Following Qualifications:
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't more...

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to deuls with tubes of gift wrap. 7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down thin narrow aisles. 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volume up to 10! 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so more...

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."

Why do pigs run into trees? To shake out the alligators. Ive never seen an alligator In a tree. Thats because the pigs do such a good job.

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1. 0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Pokernight 10. 3 and Beerbash 2. 5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1. 0 from my system.
I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1. 0 but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?
- Mr I N Distress
Dear I N Distress,
This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1. 0 to Wife 1. 0 with the idea that Wife 1. 0 is merely a “UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT” program. Wife 1. 0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and more...