Sad Jokes / Recent Jokes

It's certainly a sad sign of the times when international terrorism spoils the Christmas pudding. Security scanners this Christmas season at a major British airport have been fooled by hundreds of Christmas puddings, which they cannot tell from Semtex plastic explosive.
Travelers heading off for the holidays from Manchester airport in northern England had packed the traditional fare in their luggage. But, according to Reuters news reports, the $23 million baggage security system was unable to differentiate between the explosive of choice of the international terrorist and a plum pudding, forcing security officials to examine hundreds of bags.
Airport chiefs insisted that the sophisticated security system was not malfunctioning. "It is designed to detect organic matter, and Christmas puddings have unusual density, which alerts the system," an airport spokesman said.
The story would be amusing were it not such a sad commentary on the state of peace on Earth and more...

A young lady came home from a date looking rather sad. She told her
mother, "Arthur proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.
"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even
believe there's a hell."
Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll
show him how wrong he is."

Here's a sad one... Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a poodle? A: A dead poodle with an 18 inch asshole.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"

The sad truth is, there is not a man for every woman. That's why god invented sex toys.

'I'm very sad to announce this morning, girls, that Miss Jones has decided to retire,' said the principal at morning assembly.' Now we will all stand and sing this morning's hymn....now Thank We All Our God.'

This is seriously a sad sad song
that I dedicate to all the fellow FOBs passed away...
but we won't stop
cuz we can't stop.
uh-huh! FOB boy.
Yeah... this right here...
tell me why... goes out to all
the FOBs, that's lost someone
that they truly love... check it out
Seems like yesterday we were on the boat
Cross the pacific arrived up in Oak
so far from growing rice and corn for do'
unfortunate they got to know that
FOBs ain't always make it cross the seas
none of y'all FOBs did survive but me
even though y'all gone we still a FOB team
smuggle your family to fulfill your dreams
in the future when we cross the sea
gotta be more careful F-O-B
reminisce sometime, the hole in the boat they couldn't mend
tried to plug it up but it leaked again
tried to escape but the crates was sealed
heard all my friends cried out and squealed
give anything to hear half y'all breaths
I more...