Sahl Jokes

(The PBS "American Masters" series did a show on Mort Sahl, who had
these anecdotes about Alexander Haig:)
Haig offered Sahl a Cuban cigar, whereupon Sahl wondered how an
anti-communist such as Haig could be supporting Cuba by smoking their
cigars. Haig replied that he preferred to think of it as burning their
crops to the ground.
Sahl and Haig were discussing Henry Kissinger. Sahl mentioned that, of
course, Kissinger could not be the US President since he was not born
in the US. Haig said, no, that's a common misconception, Kissinger was
born in the US. "How did he get that accent?" asked Sahl. Haig
replied, "From never listening to anybody."

I heard Mort Sahl tell this story about Al Haig on the CBS
morning TV program on March 24, 1987; this version is
paraphrased from my notes.
When Prime Minister Nakasone visited President Reagan, he
asked for the auto import restrictions to be rescinded,
saying ''We've had a rougher time of it; consider
Hiroshima.''
The Gipper was nonplused. ''What has that got to do
with it?''
''Well, we've never destroyed one of your cities,''
replied Nakasone.
Quickly Haig cut in: ''What about Detroit?''