Salad Jokes / Recent Jokes
Boss asks secretary "Do you know what the difference is between a Caesar Salad and a blowjob?"
"No", says the secretary.
"Great, Let's do lunch." the boss says.
36 things you'll never hear from a Redneck... 1. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"2. "Duct tape won't fix that." 3. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken." 4. "We don't keep firearms in this house." 5. "You can't feed that to the dog." 6. "I thought Graceland was tacky." 7. "No kids in the back of the pick-up... it's not safe." 8. "Professional wresslin's fake." 9. "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?" 10. "We're vegetarians." 11. "Do you think my hair is too big?" 12. "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy." 13. "Honey, these bonsai trees need watering." 14. "I don't understand the appeal of NASCAR." 15. "Give me the small bag of pork rinds." 16. "Deer heads detract from the decor." 17. "Spitting is such a nasty habit." 18. "I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart more...
Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for John. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls."
Tuesday: John wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "Serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. What a surprise when John brought a friend home for supper.
Wednesday: A good day for rice. Recipe said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday: Today John asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." Which is what led up to John asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all 20 ingredients in bowl and beat it." There must have been something wrong more...
Boss asks secretary "Do you know what the difference is between a Caesar Salad and a blowjob?""No", says the secretary."Great, Let's do lunch." the boss says.
Dear Diary,
Monday:
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home, it's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow enough bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine.
Tuesday:
We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But, Bob happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. Did they ever look startled when I served the salad.
Wednesday:
I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the week. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday:
Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before more...