Salary Jokes / Recent Jokes

Scott Boras believes the Mets have enough money to afford Roy Halladay's salary. We believe Scott Boras has enough money to afford Roy Halladay's salary.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person askeda young engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were youlooking for?" The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, dependingon the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, companymatching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leasedevery 2 years - say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote: Yes!

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The candidate said, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly,. .. but you started it."

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment........

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185, 000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1: 30-3: 30 p. m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT more...

"I am planning a salary increase for you, young man."

"When does it become effective?"

"Just as soon as you do!"

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of business school, "and
What starting salary are you looking for?" the applicant said, "in the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, depending on the
Benefits package." the interviewer said, "well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full
Medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red
Corvette?" the applicant sat up straight and said, "wow! Are you kidding?" and the interviewer replied, "yeah, but you
Started it."