Salary Jokes / Recent Jokes
Singapore and Malaysia have a different philosophies of life. This becomes apparent when we compare the two countries' Rules of Simple Living. Singapore: 1 - One Wife
2 - Two Children
3 - Three Bedroom Condo
4 - Four Wheels
5 - Five Figure Salary And indeed, that is why' Singapore is solid'! Malaysia? Well, Malaysia's Rules of Simple Living are the following: 5 - Five Children
4 - Four Wives
3 - Three Figure Salary
2 - Two Wheels
1 - One-Story Link House...
This is supposedly a job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida, and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the firstplace.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE TO WORK: Of course! That's why I'm applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 pm., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're more...
Salary Increase
"I must have a raise," the man said to his boss. "There are three other companies after me."
"Really?" the boss asked. "What other companies are after you?"
"The gas company, the telephone company, and the electricity company," the man replied.
HEAVEN IS WHEN YOU HAVE:
AN AMERICAN SALARY
A BRITISH HOME
CHINESE FOOD and
AN INDIAN WIFE
HELL IS WHEN YOU HAVE:
AN AMERICAN WIFE
BRITISH FOOD
A CHINESE HOME and
AN INDIAN SALARY
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer who was fresh out of IIT, "What starting salary were you thinking about?" The engineer said, "About Rsl25, 000 a month, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, a furnished flat, full medical and dental, company matching pension fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years-say, a Skoda?" The engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
Two Marons Were Talking To Each Other As A Boss And An Employee-: Emp.- Sir I Want 1 Flat + 50, 000 Rs As Salary. Boss- No, I Will Give U 2 Flats + 1 Lakh Rs As A Salary. Emp- Sir, Are U Kidding! Why Are U Joking Soo Much? Boss- Yeah Right? Who Do You Think Started It?
Pirates chairman Bob Nutting recently told reporters that an MLB salary cap would make Pittsburgh more competitive. Provided that salary cap is half a million dollars.