"Pirates Want Salary Cap" joke
Pirates chairman Bob Nutting recently told reporters that an MLB salary cap would make Pittsburgh more competitive. Provided that salary cap is half a million dollars.
The Pirates are interested in trading All-Star second baseman Freddy Sanchez to the Giants for left-handed starter Jonathan Sanchez. The trade is particularly appealing to Pittsburgh since they can save money by not printing new jerseys.
A fan was hit in the head by a broken bat during a matchup between the Pirates and the Brewers. He suffered far less trauma than those who actually had to watch the entire game.
US seamen are now being trained to fend off pirates at sea. First, they were told to stop dressing like whores.
Keith Richards has been cast to portray Captain Jack Sparrow's (Johnny Depp) father in the third "Pirates of the Carribean" movie, in a move welcomed by everyone except the screenwriter who replied, "How the HELL do I write dialogue for someone who mumbles more...