Salary Jokes / Recent Jokes
Boss: Am Giving U Job As A Driver. Starting Salary Rs. 2000/-, Is It O. K
Sardar: U R Great Sir! Starting Salary Is O. K....... But??
How Much Is Driving Salary...?
aik adimi ne apni wife ko khat likha'is mahene salary k badley 100 kiss bhej raha hoon.
wife ne jawab diya 'app ki salray k badley 100 kiss miley, hisaab bhej rahi hoon.
1. doodh wala 2 kiss mea maan giya
2. teacher ko 7 kiss deni pari,
3. sabzi wala 7 kiss mea nahi maana isliye 9 deni pari.
4makaan malik to rooz 6-7 kiss le jata hay.
app fiker nahi kerna, mere pass abhi lag bhag 30, 40 kiss or hain. MAHINA ARAM SE KAT JAEY GA
Q. - NAME: A. - Iam ApplyinQ. - DESIRED POSITION: A. - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. Q. - DESIRED SALARY: A. - $185, 000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. Q. - EDUCATION: A. - Yes. Q. - LAST POSITION HELD: A. - Target for middle-management hostility. Q. - SALARY: A. - Less than I'm worth. Q. - MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: A. - My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. Q. - REASON FOR LEAVING: A. - It sucked. Q. - HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: A. - Any. Q. - PREFERRED HOURS: A. - 1: 30-3: 30 p. m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Q. - DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: A. - Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. Q. - MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: A. - If I had one, would I be here? Q. - DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU more...
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always more...
"ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION":
You'll be making under $6 an hour.
- - - - -
"ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY":
You're paid under $6 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.
- - - - -
"AN UP-AND-COMING SOFTWARE COMPANY":
There's no chance in hell we'll be the next Microsoft.
- - - - -
"PROFIT-SHARING PLAN":
Once it's shared among the brass, you get what's left.
- - - - -
"COMPETITIVE SALARY:"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
- - - - -
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you. (and/or)
Please introduce yourself to your co-workers.
- - - - -
"NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED LEADER:"
Inc. Magazine mentioned us in an article a few years ago.
- - - - -
"IMMEDIATE OPENING:"
The person who had this job gave notice a month ago.
We're just now running the ad.
- - - - more...
There is a big controversy these days concerning when life begins. In Jewish tradition the fetus is not considered a viable human being until after graduation from medical or law school. - ---------------- Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A: One less drunk!----------------- Q: Why are there so many Italian men in New York named Tony? A: When they came over to this country, they had "To NY" stamped on their foreheads. - ---------------- A Russian, a Saudi, a North Korean and an American are walking down the street. A pollster stops them and asks, "Excuse me, what is your opinion of the meat shortage?" The Saudi replies, "Excuse me, what's a' shortage'?" The Russian replies, "Excuse me, what's meat?" The North Korean replies, "Excuse me, what's an opinion?" Finally, the American replies, "What's' Excuse me?'"----------------- Q: What do New Zealanders call a sheep in their back yard? A: A more...
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of Business School, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"
The applicant said, "In the neighborhood of $125, 000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years - say, a red Corvette?"
The applicant sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."