Sale Jokes / Recent Jokes

A sale representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift. "No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn't like it."

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manger out for martinis. "No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it."

Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club."

"No, thanks," the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it." Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce my son, Bill," says the plant manager.

"Let me guess," the salesman replies. "An only child?"

Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section. FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 Volumes. Excellent condition.

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"

Thibodaux was driving his car past Beaudreaux's house and saw a sign that read: "BOAT FOR SALE"
Thibodaux marches up to Beaudreaux's front porch and wraps hard on the door and Beaudreaux opens it.
Thibodaux say, "Beaudreaux! How long we ban frands?"
Beaudreaux say, "Well... All our lives Thibideaux"
Thibodaux say, "Why don't you told me you gotta boat?"
Beaudreaux say, "I ant gotta boat!"
Thibodaux say, "Da' sign say; "BOAT FOR SALE".
Beaudreaux say, "OH-NO Thibodaux!... See dat old '72 Ford pickem'up truck over-dare"
Thibodaux say, "Yas, I see dat old pickem'up truck"
Beaudreaux say, "See dat '76 Cheverloet Ce-dan"
Thibodaux say, "yas, I see dat Ce-dan"
Beaudreaux say, "Well, dey boat for sale."

A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale.""I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied."Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."

A man named Jim was trying to have a yard sale and he was cleaning the front yard but he couldn't find the rake so he motioned to his wife who was upstairs about to get into the shower. He calls out 'Where is the rake?' She says 'What!' so he points to his eye (I) hits his knee (need) then he makes raking motions she replies by pointing at her eye then grabbing her left breast then she slaps her ass, then rubs her crotch. He immediately runs into his house up the stairs and before he can open his mouth his wife says 'eye left tit behind the bush'.

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.
He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.
The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."
The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!!!"