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One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store.

Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder more...

Rum Cake
Before you start, sample the rum and check for good quality.
Good, isn't it?
Now select a large mixing bowl, measuring cups, spatula, etc.
(Check that rum again for quality. It must be just right!
Try it again.)
With an electric beater, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one tsp. sugar and beat again. (Meanwhile, make certain
that rum is of best quality.)
Add two large eggs and two cups of dried fruit and beat until very
high. If fruit gets stuck in the beater, pry it out with a
screwdriver. (Sample rum again, checking for consistency.)
Next, sift in three (2) cups of baking powder and add a pinch
of rum, one seaspoon of soda and one cupa papper...(or maybe
salt?) Anyway, don't fret, just taste that rum again. Good
stuff.
Next, sift in a half pint of lemon juice, fold in chopped buttermilk
and strained nuts. Sample rum again.
Now, one bablespoon srown sugar, or whatever more...

Ingedients
1 teaspoon sugar
2 bottles rum
1 cup dried mixed fruit
2 cups brown sugar
1 teaspoon soda
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
1/2 cup baking powder
1 ounce lemon juice
1/2 pound mixed nuts
Before starting, sample the rum to check quality. It must be just right.
To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure rum is still OK all right. Try another cup. Open second bottle, ifffxx necessary.
Sample rum again.
Next, sift 3 cups pepper of salt, really doesn't matter. Sample rum. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add a bablespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mel.
Greese oven. Turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Pour mess into boven and ake. Check rum and go to bed.

Bob complained to his friend "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should
see a doctor." His friend offered, "Don't do that!!!
There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything,
quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your
urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what
you can do about it. It only costs $10. 00."

Bob figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in
the sample and deposited the $10. 00. The computer started making some
noises and the various lights started flashing. After a brief pause
out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy labor
It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was
and how it would change more...

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt.
His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
"Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store.
Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing.
After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.
He mixed more...

One day Pete was complaining to his friend "my elbow hurts. I bettersee a doctor". His friend said "Don't do that. There's a computer inthe drug store that can diagnose anything. It's quicker and cheaperthan visiting a doctor. Simply put a urine sample in the machine andit will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do about it. Itonly costs $10.00." Pete figured he had nothing to lose so he filled a jar with a urinesample. He went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured inthe sample and deposited $10.00. The computer started to make a weirdnose and various lights began to flash. After a brief pause, a smallslip of paper printed. It said: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor, it will be better in two weeks.Later that evening, while thinking how amazing that computer was, Petebegan to wonder if it could be fooled. He decided to give it a try.He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples fromhis more...

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man,
"I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample." The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?" "What did he say? What`s he want?" His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."