Sand Jokes / Recent Jokes
Don't worry about the sand in the Vaseline, they don't use it anyway.
Here is this guy who really takes care of his body, he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.One morning he looks into the mirror and admires hisbody. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decies to do something about it.He goes to the beach, strips completey and burries himselfin the sand, except for his penis sticking out of the sand.Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and onelooks down and says "There is no justice in this world".The other lady says "What do you mean?"The first lady says "Look at that".When I was 10 Yeras old I was afriad of it.When I was 20, I was curious about it.When I was 30, I enjoyed it.When I was 40, I asked for it.When I was 50, I paid for it.When I was 60, I prayed for it.When I was 70, I forgot about it.And now that I'm 80, the damn things are growing wild
The Island of Copper Sand is a great country. It once had a government so loved by
people, that it governed the country for 17 years until the society became a
Dharmista Samajaya (a just society).
The Minister for Land, Land Development and Great-Sand was a very honest person
named "Village-Leader District-Leader". These Copper-Sandinians used to have
very peculiar names such as "Vitory-Improver", "Love-Slave", "Treasury-Leader",
"Inner-Muddlier" etc. etc.
Once a minister from an African country paid an official visit to Cooper Sand. This
minister, being the minister for Construction and Land Development in his country
was very much interested in visiting the Great-Sand Project that consisted of
several vast dams in various places of the island. The funds for those gigantic
projects were provided by the Bank de Globe.
So, obviously the Copper Sand counterpart, more...
What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50? Your honor What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad? Senator. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline! What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving. What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you slice them. Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy. What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand. When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep? Because down deep, they are all nice guys!!!! How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a more...
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags? ”, asked the guard.
“Sand, ” said the cyclist.
“Get them off - we’ll take a look, ” said the guard.
The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.
Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.
A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. “Say friend, you sure had us crazy”, said the guard. “We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won’t say a word - but what is it you were smuggling? ” “Bicycles! ”
Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service!
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you die!
What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog!
What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming human.
Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets, what should you do? Shoot the lawyer, twice !!
What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a sleazy politician? Chelsea Clinton.
It was so cold around here last winter, (how cold was it?) I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets!
What's the difference between a female lawyer more...
Why does the Law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients? To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service! What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer? A tick falls off you when you die ! What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead lawyer on the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog! What is black & brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming human.Lawyer's creed: A man is innocent until proven broke.You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets, what should you do? Shoot the lawyer, twice !! What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a sleazy politician? Chelsea Clinton.It was so cold around here last winter, (how cold was it?) I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets ! What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick ! What more...