Sand Jokes / Recent Jokes
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?
Only one if you run him through slowly!
First person: Do you know how to save five lawyers who are drowning?
Second person: No.
First person: Good!
Where can you find a good lawyer?
In the cemetery.
You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
You shoot the lawyer. Twice.
What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working?
Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer.
What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from an airplane?
Skeet.
Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which more...
A man teed off from the seventh hole of his favorite golf course and wound up in a sand trap.
He went to retrieve his ball and found a leprechaun in the sand trap. "Well, you've found me, laddy," said the leprechaun. "I'll grant you one wish - either a year of great golf or a year of great sex."
Without hesitation the man responded, "A year of great golf."
And he enjoyed a whole year of professional grade golf. After the year ended, though, he went back to his terrible scores of before.
Again on his favorite course, he again wound up in the same sand trap and again found the same
leprechaun. The leprechaun promised to grant him one wish - with exactly the same choice as before, great golf or great sex.
Without any hesitation the man asked for "A year of great golf."
The leprechaun was astounded. "Laddie, you look like a red-blooded man. I don't understand why more...
A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border
on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his
shoulders. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"
The fellow says, "Sand!"
The guard wants to examine them. The fellow
gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground,
opens them up, and the guard inspects... only
to find sand. The fellow packs the sand, places
the bags on his shoulders, and pedals the bike
across the border.
Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated...
"What have you there?"
"Sand"
"We want to examine."
Same results... nothing but sand and the fellow
is on his way again.
Every two weeks for six months the inspections
continue. Finally, one week the fellow didn't
show up. However, the guard sees him downtown
and says to the fellow, "Buddy, you had us crazy.
We sort of knew you were smuggling something.
I won't say anything what were you more...
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.
So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"
Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball
Q. What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "Whats in the bags?", asked the guard."Sand," said the cyclist."Get them off - well take a look," said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I wont say a word - but what is it you were smu ggling?" "Bicycles!"