Saturday Night Live Jokes / Recent Jokes

Today I learned Andy Samberg of SNL fame is dating Kirsten Dunst aka Marie Antoinette, Queen of Lame. Uncool Andy. Why won't you return my calls? Also uncool. (quickly IMDBs Kirsten Dunst) Well, have fun Bringing it On in Elizabethtown while this Crazy/Beautiful Mona Lisa is NOT Smiling. Enjoy your constant Interview with a snaggletoothed Vampire. Why can't you be MY Spider Man for once? Am I not Drop Dead Gorgeous? Why do you have to be such a Dick? You told me I was The Cat's Meow! Did you catch the US Open last week at Wimbledon? Me either. Anyway, Im gonna go play Jumanji with some Little Women. Oh, and thanks for leaving me Fifteen and Pregnant. I'll Get Over It.
Deeply,
Deanna

And in other news, Japan's famed caricature artist Takamashi Muhara suffered a stroke while trying to trace a typical Japanese tourist's face today. He also found out that he no longer has a 401K plan.