Sausage Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man walks into a store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any polish sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Are you Polish?"
The man says, "Yes, but why do you ask? If I asked for Italian Sausage would you ask if I was Italian? Or if I asked for German Sausage would you ask if I was German? Or if I asked for a taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?!?
The clerk simply answered, "No."
The man said, "Then why did you just ask me if I was Polish?"
The clerk replied, "Because this is a hardware store!"
Two sausages are in a pan. One looks at the other and says, ''God, it's hot in here.'' And the other sausage says, ''Oh my god, it's a talking sausage!''
A guy goes into the store and says to the clerk, "I would like some Polish sausage."
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"
The guy says, "Well, yes I am. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German sausage, would you ask me if I was German?" Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
The guys says, "Then why do you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?"
The clerk says, "Because this is a hardware store."
A man walks into a store and asks, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"
The clerk looks at him and says, "I take it you’re Polish?"
The man, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something, if I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?"
With deep self-righteous indignation, the man says, "Well, then why did you assume I’m Polish just because I asked for Polish sausage?"
"Because you’re at Hardware House."
Two career drunks were extremely thirsty one Saturday night and decided to go to the store to get some cheap booze. In the store, the first drunk says, "All right, I have 87 cents; how much do you have?" His friend replies, "I have a dollar. What can we get for $1. 87?" The first spots a big Italian sausage on the rack for only $1. 80 and has a great idea. "Hey, here's what we can do" he says. "We'll buy that sausage there and put it in my pants. We'll go into a bar and order drinks. After the drinks are gone, I'll pull out the sausage and you start sucking on it. They'll kick us out of the bar and we won't have to pay!"
The second drunk agrees and they head off to the bar. They walk in and order two beers and drink them down. When the beer is gone, the first drunk whips the sausage out and the second starts sucking on it. "What the hell are you doing? Get out of my bar!" says the bartender, and the two run out laughing. more...
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.