Saw Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mr. Smith got himself a new secretary. She was young, pretty, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation she noticed his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said,' Mr. Smith, do you know your barracks door is open?'

He didn't immediately understand her remark but later on he glanced down and saw his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. He called her in and asked,' By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did notice the soldier standing at attention?'

' Why, no Mr. Smith,' she replied sweetly,' all I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags.'

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.

"That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without honey for a week."

Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
stomping him you will do without butter for a week."

The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate
his plain toast (no honey and butter.)

Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
should I?

I saw yo daddy jacking off into a paper sack, I asked what he was doing, he said packing your lunch.

Back in the Jahanabad, there were two Yadavs, Laloo and Sadhu. One day, the two were enjoying a strong country in the local thek, when a man walked into the bar with a Brahmin's head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Brahmins; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of a Brahmin, I'll give him fifty thousand rupees."
The two Yadavs looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for a Brahmin. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Sadhu threw a rock which hit the Brahmin right on the head.
The Brahmin fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Laloo pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Sadhu said, "Lalooji, take a look at this."
Laloo replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Sadhu tugged more...

There was an old country sheriff who always said, "It could have been worse." No matter what happened, the old sheriff always had the same answer: "It could have been worse."

One day, two deputies in the sheriff's office answered an emergency call at a farmhouse. When they walked in, they found the nude bodies of a man and a woman in the bedroom. They had been shot to death. When they went to the living room, they found the body of a man with a gun at his side.

"No doubt about it," one deputy said to the other. "This was a double murder and suicide. This guy came home and found his wife in bed with somebody else and shot them both. Then he shot himself."

"You're right," the other deputy replied. "Double murder and suicide. But I'll bet you when the sheriff gets here he's going to say "it could have been worse."

"No way. How could it be worse? There are three people in the more...