Saying Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a blonde little girl who decides to see what her family is doing.So she goes upstairs to her sisters room. She is saying bitches and dicks the little girls asks"What does that mean" and the sister says Ladies and Gentlemen. SHe goes to her bro who is saying pusseys and penis. The little girl asks what does that mean, he says um, unbrellas and raincoats. Then she goes to he dad who then says shit the girl says what does that mean. He says it means shaving like I am doing now. Then she goes to her mom who is cutting a turkey then says fuck, the girls says whay does that mean, she says cutting. The door ring and she answers it. It is her grandparents. The little girl then says Hello bitches and dick may i grab your pusseys and penis my dads up stairs shitting himself and my moms in the kitchen fucking a turkey.

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God? work. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop.
A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused to pay, saying, “you protect the public. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts at the door to his shop.
A lawyer came to the barber for a haircut, and again the barber refused payment, saying, “you serve the justice system. ” The next morning the barber found a dozen lawyers waiting for a free haircut.

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down." Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey." What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth." They were drinking?" asked the officer. The monkey shakes his head "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth." They were smoking marijuana?" The monkey shakes his head "Yes." "What else?" The monkey motioned "kissing." "They were kissing, more...

Robert Johnson had been retired for a year when his wife of fifty years suggested one day, "Why don't we take a cruise for a week and make wild passionate love like we did when we were young?"He thought it over and agreed. Bob put on his hat and coat and went down to the corner drug store. He stepped up to the counter and asked for a bottle of seasick pills and a box of condoms.Upon returning home his wife greeted him at the door saying, "You know dear, I've been thinking it over. I see no reason why we couldn't manage a month-long cruise. so we could relax and make wild passionate love like we did when we were young."Bob smiled, turned around, and went back to the pharmacy. He stepped up and ordered 12 bottles of seasick pills and a dozen boxes of condoms. Upon returning back home, his wife met him on the porch with a big smile on her face. "Bob, I have a marvelous idea. You know, now that our children are all on their own, there's nothing to stop us from more...

One day a rich greedy man bougt a donkey from a poor man. the man explained:Amen to stop. alleluia to go. oh god to trot. the man didnt listen. the man went on the donkey and said "oh god, here we go." suddenly the donkey troted along. the rich man didnt know where he was going. the man was coming to a clif but didnt realise it. then he saw it and panicked. he tried saying "whow" and "stop donkey stop" but nothing worked. then he stated saying a prayer "in the name of the father, son, and holy spirit...Amen" and the donkey stoped. the man was so delighted he shouted at the top of his voice at the edge of the clif "ALLeluia..."

Once upon a time, the six peoples were traveling in a private plane and that six persons were bollywood king sharukh khan, congress president sonia gandhi, railway minister lalu yadav, small boy, one old man and a pilot.

Suddenly the problem starts in a plane so pilot told everybody to get out but the problem was there were only 5 parachutes but the people were six.

So first our bollywood king sharukh has jumped from the plane by saying, “Bollywood needs me. ”

Next our sonia by saying, “Congress need me. ”

Then our respected laluji by saying, “Hamari railway ko meri bahut jarurat hain bhai. ”

Then pilot, old man and small boy remained in the plane but the problem was there was only one parachute but 2 peoples to jump so the old man told small boy beta, “you jump bcoz I have spent my whole life but you have your future ahead so I will sacrifice for you. ”

Suddenly that small boy laugh and says we both can more...

I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance... she leaned over and pushed me.