Scared Jokes / Recent Jokes
Question: Why are New Zealand sheep so scared?
Answer: Because Kiwi Rednecks have got velcro gloves.
"Hello?"
"Hi, honey, this is Daddy,". ... "Is your Mommy near
the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle
Frank,"
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But you haven't got
an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Oh Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with
Mommy, right now!"
"Uh, Okay, then...... here's what I want you do. Put
down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom
door and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's
car's just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the
phone. "Well, I
did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?" he asks.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no
clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped
over the rug and went flying out the front window more...
Q: What's green, has 3 eyes, sharp teeth, and blood on its face?
A: I don't know, but it's on your shoulder!
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? "
Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "
A tornado hit a farmhouse just before dawn. It lifted the roof off, picked up the beds on which the farmer and his wife slept, and set them down gently in the next county. The wife began to cry.
"Don`t be scared, Susan," her husband said. "We are not hurt."
Susan continued to cry. "I`m not scared," she said between sobs. "I`m happy ˜cause this is the first time in 15 years we`ve been out together.
Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod).
When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him.
"So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?"
"Not scared..." Benny growled, "been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout ten ten years ago now".
"Oh yeah?... so...?"
"Well, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good more...
Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod). When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him."So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?""Not scared..." Benny growled, "been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout ten ten years ago now"."Oh yeah?... so...?""Well, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good chisler. He never even loved more...