Schoenberg Jokes / Recent Jokes

Interviewer: Sir Thomas, have you ever conducted Schoenberg?
Sir Thomas Beecham: No, but I trod in some once.
[The following was probably written by a violinist]
A princess was walking through her garden one day when she sees a frog sitting on a lily pad. As she gets closer she realises, to her amazement, that it is talking to her.
"Princess, princess, please help me. A wicked witch turned me into a frog - I used to be a musician - I played beautiful music in a great orchestra. If you kiss me I can become human and play music again."
The princess said, "Oh how sad, of course I'll help you. By the way, what instrument did you play?"
The frog replied, "I used to play the viola."
"Ah" said the princess. "You know, I think you could have a great future as a talking frog."