Viola Jokes

Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first?
A: Who cares!

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.

Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola?
A: A viola burns longer.

Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving. Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play. Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes. Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola? A: A viola burns longer. Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin? A: It is usually still in the case. Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common? A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed. Q: Which is smaller, a violin or a viola? A: They are actually the same size, but a violinist's head is so much bigger. Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate. Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen? A: Put it in a viola case. Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers. Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek? A: Because no one will look for them. Q: Why shouldn't violists take more...

Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.
Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.