Recording Jokes

Answering Machine Recording: "You have reached the breast self-examination hot line. Please press one. ..Now press the other one."

Tape Recording for Beginners by Cass Ette

Q: What is a chord? A: Three violists playing in unison.Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: Half a measure.Q: What is the difference between grapes and a viola? A: You take off your shoes to stamp on grapes.Conductor: Again from measure 5, if you please.Voice from viola section: But Maestro, we have no measure numbers.Q: What is the difference between a chainsaw and a viola? A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet.Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator.Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section? A: A semi-tone.Q: Why are violas so large? A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.Q: more...

Q: What is the best recording of the Walton viola concerto? A: Music Minus One.

Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.