Viola Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
A: Half a measure.
How do you know if a viola section is at your front door?
No one knows when to come in.
Q: Why are violas so large?
A: It is an optical illusion. It's not that the violas are large, just that the viola player's heads are so small.
I'm not sure I'm using this right, but if I am, here's a whole bunch
of viola jokes.
What's the difference between a viola and a violin?
A violin burns faster.
Why is a violist like a terrorist?
They both ** up bowings.
What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
Terrorists have sympathizers.
What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?
A dressmaker tucks up frills.
What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and
a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over
to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house,
killed your family, and burned it down." The violist replied, "You're
kidding! The conductor came to my house?"
A violist is sitting in the front row, crying hysterically. The more...
Q: What is the similarity between a viola joke and premature ejaculation?
A: You know it's coming and there is not a damn thing that you can do to stop it.
Q: Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?
A: Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.