Screech Jokes / Recent Jokes

The chieftain of a remote village flew to the United States to visit the president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked the chief if he had a comfortable flight. The chief made a series of weird noises - "screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z" - and then added in perfect English, "Yes, I had a very nice flight." Another reporter asked, "Chief, do you plan to visit the Washington Monument while you're in the area?" The chief made the same noises -"screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z" - and then said, "Yes, and I also plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building." "Where did you learn to speak such flawless English?" asked the next reporter. The chief replied, "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z-z - from the shortwave radio."

Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs? - They keep breaking them with the hammers. Did you hear about the blonde coyote? - Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? - When you have a tire pump to reinflate it! Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? - She missed. What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH? - A blonde going through a flashing red light. What is the definition of gross ignorance? - 144 blondes. Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? - They went to see “Closed for the Winter”. Why is the blonde’s brain the size of a pea in the morning? - It swells at night.

Sir is comfortably seated in an armchair in the library, reading a newspaper. John has just brought in coffee, when a loud screech echoes through the room, followed shortly by a terrific thud.
Sir looks up. "What was that dreadful noise?"
John steps over to the window and carefully looks from behind the curtains.
"Sir, a car just took a right turn".
"John, no car in the world would make such noise just for taking a right turn!"
"Sir, indeed, but you see, there was no street to the right".

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Dustin Diamond, best known as Screech Powers from "Saved by the Bell," is selling T-shirts with his photo on them to try to raise $250,000 so he doesn't lose his house under a foreclosure order.
Ironically, this exact scenario was predicted in 1993 by me during Saved By The Bell: The College Years episode # C.8 "Screech Love"; where Zach asks Screech to tutor his latest flame and star tennis player Linda Addington, who in turn fall for each other amidst astronomy lessons.
For the seventh time in series history, Zach doesn't believe a girl would choose Screech over him, they break up their best-friendship, and Fonzi jumps over a shark on waterskis.

Q: What goes VAROOM Screech! VAROOM Screech! VAROOM Screech!?
A: A blond driving through a blinking red light. =;-{)