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(I have to admit, this is the most accurate one that I've seen so far)

Do not scroll down to see the answers!!!

Adam Sandler's personality test...

You must follow the rules on this one exactly, otherwise it won't work. It's really scary how this works out. NO CHEATING!!!!

First, get a pen (or pencil) and paper.

Second, write the numbers one through six in a column.

Next to number one, write any number...

Next to number two, write the name of anyone to which you are really attracted (excluding spouses and current significant others)...

Next to three, write down the first color you can think of...

Next to number four, write the name of your first pet (when you were a kid, growing up)....

Next to number five write down the name of the first family member that comes to mind...

Next to number six write down the name of the second family member that comes to more...

{ Some of this is as told to me by a friend who got it from somewhere
off TV; the rest is original. You get to figure out which is which. }
They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the
first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the
actual "first page" of the Bible. When deciphered, it read:
"Copyright (c) 300 B.C. God. All Rights Reserved
First scrawling First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone-
Is-Shadowed, 300 B.C.
All beings, places and events depicted in this work are
fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places
and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.
WARNING: Some of the actions performed in this work are
dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals
familiar with the action in question.
NOTE: Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark
are called 'stars'. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In
no way more...

Did you know that last month's (expletive) phone bill is over $450? my wife scolded me in her harshest, my-husband-the-child voice. "That's more than twice the monthly payment you make for that (expletive)computer!" she continued as she escalated to screaming."I confess! I confess!" I sobbed. "I'm just an on-line junkie. I'm addicted to my modem! I guess I'll just have to join Modems Anonymous before I owe my soul to the phone company. "As a counselor for Modems Anonymous, I hear numerous variations of the preceding story every day. That insidious disease, modem fever, is exacting a tragically large toll from the cream of our society's computer users. Modem-mania is sweeping through the very foundations of our country and there seems to be no stopping it. This disease (yes, it is a social disease of almost epidemic proportions) is becoming a such calamity that soon there's even going to be a soap opera about on-line addiction named, "All My Modems. more...

They recently discovered a smaller scroll hidden in the cylinder of the
first scroll of the ancient Biblical scriptures, believed to be the
actual "first page" of the Bible. When deciphered, it read:
"Copyright (c) 300 B.C. God. All Rights Reserved
First scrawling First-Sunrise-After-Stonehenge-Keystone-
Is-Shadowed, 300 B.C.
All beings, places and events depicted in this work are
fictional, and any resemblance to actual beings, places
and events past, present or future is purely coincidental.
WARNING: Some of the actions performed in this work are
dangerous and should only be attempted by professionals
familiar with the action in question.
NOTE: Those tiny points of light in the sky when it gets dark
are called 'stars'. Some of them do blow up on occasion. In
no way should this be construed as a sign that there is,
beneath such an explosion, any form of saviour. Should such a
misconstrual happen, the more...

On a sheet of paper, draw a picture of a pig.
Do your best.
Then scroll down and read the rest of this message.
Don't cheat, because if you do it won't work.
Draw the pig first and just follow the instructions, it won't take but a minute.
Have fun. This is quite interesting! You must not scroll down until you have drawn the pig.
Draw your picture. No cheating now. You will find this veryinteresting if you draw your picture first!
***
YOU'RE CHEATING! DRAW THE FRIGGIN PIG!!!
IT RUINS THE JOKE IF YOU DON'T DRAW THE PIG. IT
DOESN'T HAVE TO LOOK GOOD. JUST DO IT. IT'LL TAKE 20 SECONDS.
YOU'LL BE SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T DRAW THE PIG.
***
The pig serves as a useful test of the personality traits of the drawer.
If the pig is drawn:
Toward the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic.
Toward the middle, you are a realist.
Toward the bottom, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behave negatively.
Facing more...