Sea Jokes / Recent Jokes

Take your time with this test and you will be amazed.

The Dalai Lama suggests you read it to see if it works for you. Very Interesting. Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you.

Be honest and do not cheat by looking up the answers.

The mind is like a parachute, it works best when it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat.

MAKE A WISH BEFORE BEGINNING THE TEST!

A warning! Answer the questions as you go along. There are only 4 questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results.

Go down slowly, and complete each exercise as you scroll down. Don`t look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along. You will need it at the end.

This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item. The first thing that comes to mind is usually your best more...

Father was talking about the movie he had watched on television, "20, 000 leagues under the sea." the scenes with the
Submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed. In the middle of the telling, his father interrupted- " soham. What
Caused the submarine to sink?" soham- "dad, it was the 20, 000 leaks!"

Many years ago, a fishermans wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldnt think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Lets not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us." After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didnt matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Lets call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their ship, said more...

ODE TO A SPELL CHECKER
by Jerrold H Zar
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it`s weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too be a joule.
The checker pours o`er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker`s
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we`re lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid to wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault`s with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
it does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad more...

Two Sea Monsters Were Swimming Around In The Ocean, Looking For Something To Do. They Came Up Underneath A Ship That Was Hauling Potatoes. Bob, The First Sea Monster, Swam Underneath The Ship, Tipped It Over And Ate Everything On The Ship.

A Little While Later, They Came Up To Another Ship, Again Hauling Potatoes. Bob Again Capsizes The Ship And Eats Everything Onboard.

The Third Ship They Found Was Also Hauling Potatoes And Bob Once Again Capsized It And Ate Everything.

Finally His Buddy Bill Asked Him, "Why Do You Keep Tipping Over Those Ships Full Of Potatoes And Eating Everything On Board?"

Bob Replied, "I Wish I Hadn't, But I Just Can't Help Myself Once I Start. Everyone Knows You Can't Eat Just One Potato Ship."

"How have you managed to buy such a luxurious villa while your income is so low?" asked the IRS auditor.
"Well," the taxpayer answered, "while fishing last summer I have caught a large golden fish. When I took it off the hook, the fish opened his mouth and said,' I am a magical fish. Throw me back to the sea and I'll give you the most luxurious villa you have ever seen'. I threw the fish back to the sea, and got the villa."
"How can you prove such an unbelievable story?"
"Well, you can see the villa, can't you?"

A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he sea? a big jar full of change and a little card that reads:
Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh.
COST $5
So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves.
The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and sea? the horse and the jar, this time it says:
You can win all of this if you make the horse cry.
COST $10
So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had.
So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks “How did you do that? ”
The guy says, “The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him! ”