Season Jokes / Recent Jokes

You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.
College sweatshirts are' casual' instead of dress up.
Your parents charge rent.
Your parents walk in on you having sex, not your roommate.
The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, ramen and cereal.
It's' getting late' when it's 11:00 p.m.
Three words: School Loan Payments.
You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that dream Porsche.
You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively. Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the hospital by game's end.
THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, phone rates and tonsil hockey;
NOW: IRA's, Interest rates and their kid's orthodontia.
Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
Sneakers are now' weekend shoes'.
Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of more...

Fishing season hasnt opened and a fisherman who doesnt have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks: "Any luck?""Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday," he boasts."Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am?" asks the stranger."Nope.""Well, meet the new game warden.""Oh," gulped the fisherman. "Well, do you know who I am?""Nope.""Meet the biggest liar in the state!"

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

"Felicitations Concomitant with Your Observance of the Season and Many
Propitious Initions in the Forthcoming Twelvemonth"

Log on - Adding a log to your wood stove
Log off - Don`t add a log to your wood stove
Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove
Megahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morning
Floppy disk - What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stove
Ram - The hydraulic machine that makes the woodsplitter work
Drive - Getting home during most of the winter to your wood stove
Hard drive - Trying to get home during a heavy snow storm
Prompt - What you wish the mail was during the snow season
Enter - Come on in
Windows - What you must shut when the temperature hits 10 below
Screen - What is a must during black fly season
Chip - What you munch during a football games
Microchip - What`s left in the bag when the normal chips are gone
Modem - What you did to your fields last July
Dot Matrix - Eino Matrix`s wife
Laptop - Where the grandkids sit
Keyboard - Where you`re supposed to put the keys more...

A pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!!
Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"

Q. What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A. Spring time.