Selected Jokes

Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer.

Officer looks at Santa singh Then goes thru his certificates and then starts asking him questions.
Following is the transcript: O: Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites.
S: Yes Sir.
Officer started asking questions.
O: Above
S: Below
O: Front
S: Back
O: Left
S: Right
O: Male
S: Female
O: Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S: Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
O: Ugly... U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S: Pichhly... P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our sardar also spells it)
O: U..... G..... L. ..... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S: P. .... I. .... C. .... H. ...... H. ..... L. .... Y......
Our sardar also more...

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

Once, Banta Singh Went For An Interview.

Questioner: Give Me The Opposites.

Banta Singh: Ok.

Questioner: Made In India.

Banta Singh: Destroyed In Pakistan.

Questioner: Good, You Are Selected.

Banta Singh: Bad, I Am Not Selected.

Questioner: Don't Speak Too Much Or I Will Cut Your Points.

Banta Singh: Speak Less Or You Will Cut My Points.

Questioner: You Are Dismissed.

Banta Singh: I Am Selected!!

Questioner:!!!!

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the rather elderly salesman, "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "one of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater."