Senior Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched as they checked her meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a footrace down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. As they came tearing up to the truck, they realized the lady of that end house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped immediately and asked her what was wrong.

"When I saw two gasmen running as hard as you were," gasped the woman, "I figured I'd better run too!"

The warning
David, a senior citizen, was driving down the M25 towards Edgware, when his mobile phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife`s voice urgently warning him, "David, I just heard on the news that there`s a car going the wrong way down the M25. So please be careful!"
"Hell," said David, "It`s not just one...there are dozens of them!"

Senior Golfers
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.
"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.
"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.
"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.
After hearing enough from his Senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said...
"Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!"

A massive food fight at an Illinois high school was the result of a senior prank gone awry.
One senior defended his classmates, saying, “Since most of the ammo was fruits and vegetables, we didn’t realize we were even in a food fight.”

A MINISTER due to go on a foreign tour had a lot of cash lying with him. He thought it would be safest left with the Prime Minister and requested him to keep it for him till he returned. The Prime Minister agreed but insisted that the transaction be witnessed by two of his senior assistants. "Money matters can lead to misunderstanding," said the PM. "It is always wise to have two witnesses."
The Minister saw the wisdom of the advice. The cash was handed over to the PM in the presence of two of his senior advisers.
Some weeks later when the Minister returned home, he called on the PM and asked for the return of the money.
"What money?" asked the PM "I don't know what you are talking about?"
"The cash I left with you," pleaded the Minister. You even had two of your senior advisers as witnesses."
"Let's ask them," replied the PM. The senior advisers were sent for.
"Do you know anything more...

This Is A True Senior's Moment:
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was really
great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that is red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Oh, yes," the man said, and then he turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

A bus full of senior gamblers was driving down the freeway, returning from two days in Las Vegas. A lady passenger comes forward and complains loudly to the driver that some male creep is crawling along the floor and has had the temerity to fondle her. The driver tells her he'll stop as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

As the driver was searching for a good spot to pull over, another female passenger comes forward, complaining of being fondled, too. To the driver's mind, this constitutes an emergency, so he immediately pulls over onto the shoulder and brings the bus to a screeching halt. He proceeds to go back to find the culprit and spies this little baldheaded guy crawling on all fours along the floor of the bus. He confronts the guy and asks him what he's doing on the floor.

"Well," replies the little fellow, "I lost my toupee a few miles back and I thought I'd found it twice until I realized mine's parted on the side."