Senior Jokes / Recent Jokes

Don't hate yourself in the morning--sleep till noon.

"Old" is when... when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

"Old" is when... when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

"Old" is when... "getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class cabin on a cross-country flight, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her.
Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, 'Miss, I'm sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you're seated in first class; I'm afraid you'll have to move.'
The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a model.'
Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant.
The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says, politely, 'I'm sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you'll have to move back.'
The blonde replies, sweetly, 'I'm blonde, and I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York to be a model' - and shows no signs of moving.
Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he'll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, more...