Sense Jokes / Recent Jokes
What type of sense of humor does a dust storm have?-A very dry sense of humor
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
You need to have a British sense of humor (ahem - that would be humour) to fully understand this. There is an explanation of some of the terms following the joke...
Carlos the ice-cream man's van is parked at the side of the road. Lights flashing, music playing, a big queue of excited kids stretches down the street. But there's no sign of Carlos.
A copper walking down the road wonders what is going on. "Where is Carlos?, Why is he not dishing out the ice-cream?"
He goes over to the van and peers over the high counter.
On the floor he spots Carlos. He's lying very still covered in chocolate sauce, strawberry sauce, nuts, hundreds and thousands and those little jelly bits.
"Get back kids," he shouts.
Moving away so the bemused kids cannot overhear him he gets on the radio to the police station.
"Sarge, get someone down here quick," he stutters, "It's Carlos the ice-cream man... He's topped himself."
Being English more...
#1
Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil).
2
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Warner Comm. paid $28 million for the copyright to the song 'Happy Birthday.'
#3
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
#4
A comet's tail always points away from the sun.
#5
The "Swine flu" vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.
#6
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
#7
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
#8
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
#9
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is more...
C would be Judaism - it's old and restrictive, but most of the world is familiar with its laws and respects them. The catch is, you can't convert into it - you're either into it from the start, or you will think that it's insanity. Also, when things go wrong, many people are willing to blame the problems of the world on it.
Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity - it's theoretically based on C, but it voids so many of the old laws that it doesn't feel like the original at all. Instead, it adds its own set of rigid rules, which its followers believe to be far superior to the original. Not only are they certain that it's the best language in the world, but they're willing to burn those who disagree at the stake.
PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity - Fights with Java for the web market. It draws a few concepts from C and Java, but only those that it really likes. Maybe it's not as coherent as other languages, but at least it leaves you with much more freedom and more...
25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
6. A penny saved is worthless.
7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will more...