Sense Jokes / Recent Jokes

You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up. The Sun is too loud. Trees begin to chase you. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. You can hear mimes. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. Things become "Very Clear." You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chanelers can understand. The less sense matter and matter is more than sense. You and Reality file for divorce. You can skip without a rope. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You have great more...

I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.

You can achieve a "Runner's High" by sitting up. The Sun is too loud. Trees begin to chase you. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I. V. drip solution of espresso. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of coffee. You can hear mimes. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly. Things become "Very Clear." You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You begin speaking in a language that only you and Chanelers can understand. The less sense matter and matter is more than sense. You and Reality file for divorce. You can skip without a rope. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before. You have great more...

Pillow talk in Missouri: Has sex been outlawed?
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - Birds do it. Bees do it. But Missourians aren't allowed to do it, according to some interpretations of a new state law.
"I don't know what they were trying to say, but I know that what they did say seems to outlaw sex altogether," said David Foster, director of the writing lab a the University of Missouri-Kansas City.
Others disagree. One legislator says it legalizes homosexual sex and outlaws nonconsensual sex. Another says it outlaws homosexual sex and nonconsensual sex.
The law, which took effect Aug. 28, says: "A person commits the crime of sexual misconduct in the first degree if he has deviate sexual intercourse with another person of the same sex, or he purposely subjects another person to sexual contact or engages in conduct which would constitute sexual contact except that the touching occurs through the clothing without that person's consent."
Attorney Dan Viets more...

A Florida woman was sentenced on Monday to a year and a day in prison for keeping her dead mother's body in a bedroom for at least six years while collecting more than $230,000 in pension benefits. At sentencing the judge asked the woman if she had any sense of right and wrong, any sense of decency, and any sense of smell.

Tying your horse's reins to a post does no good if you then remove the bridle.

When throwing your saddle over your horse's back, do not let go. See Law of Inertia: a body in motion tends to remain in motion.

Forgetting to tighten the girth before swinging into the saddle gives you a whole new perspective of your horse.

Before using a crop to encourage your horse to move, be sure it is facing the direcftion you wish to go.

On a five mile long road with a single mud puddle in it, your horse will shy when you are most likely to fall in the puddle. Same for a single cactus in the desert.

It is a mistake to believe horses have no sense of humor. They think we are funny.

A neophyte rider need waste no time being concerned for his horse's welfare. Your horse knows all about being a horse. Concentrate on your own well being.

Horses smell FEAR. Deodorant won't help.

Winston Churchill & Abraham Lincoln are both famous for their wit & superb sense of humour. Once they happened to meet on a staircase which was not wide enough for both of them to pass. Churchill stood in the middle of it & said to Lincoln, "I don't give way to a fool." Lincoln promptly stepped aside, allowing Churchill to move & replied, "Well but I do, your excellency."