Servants Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ten civil servants standing in a line,
One of them was downsized - then there were nine.
Nine civil servants who must negotiate,
One joined the union - then there were eight.
Eight civil servants thought they were in heaven,
'Til one of them was redeployed - then there were seven.
Seven civil servants, their jobs as safe as bricks,
But one was reclassified - then there were six.
Six civil servants trying to survive,
One of them was privatized - then there were five.
Five civil servants ready to give more,
But one golden handshake reduced them to four.
Four civil servants full of loyalty,
Their jobs were all advertised - then there were three.
Three civil servants under review,
One left on secondment - then there were two.
Two civil servants coping on the run,
One went on stress leave - then there was one.
The last civil servant agreed to relocate,
Replaced by 10 consultants at twice the hourly rate.

To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday:
Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....
Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing more...

Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. One day the
prince had to leave town on a business trip and he was scared to
leave his wife alone because she was very pretty and a lot of
people wanted to have sex with her. So before he left he put a
blade in her pussy so if someone did it with her, their dick would
have a cut on it.
So when he came back from the business trip and he told all his
servants to pull down their pants. All the servants had cuts on
their dick, but except for one. So the prince asked the servant
"everyone wants to do it with my wife why didn't you have sex with her?"
The servant didn't reply. But he just stuck out his tongue.
And on his tongue there was a big cut.

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice
archery
by aiming for the red dot on their wife's forehead.
In fact,
this is one of the reasons why they had many wives.

Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much
about
the country. All the wonderful places, the forests,
the
snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use
elephants
for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own
elephant. But
later to save air, we started elephant-pooling with
our
neighbors, You see elephants have an "emissions"
problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is
trying to
encourage elephant-pooling schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even the tigers are more...

To help the new wave of incoming students from India, here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday: Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean? A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target.... Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation? A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem..... Q. Does India have cars? A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes. Q. Does India have TV? A. No. We more...

Tom Cruise, Steven Seagal, and Alec Baldwin were in a jungle filming a movie. Sadly, they were taken prisoner by the local tribe. As they were about to be executed, they begged the queen of the tribe for mercy.
She considered their plea and said, "Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed." The three stars looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food.
Tom Cruise was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. She tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of them up his ass. The servants finished their duty, leaving him screaming.
Seagal was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass.
Tom Cruise was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Seagal had several apples in his ass and he was still laughing. He asked him more...

ONCE upon a time there was a rich zamindar who liked to end his day by taking a bowl of whipped cream malaee before retiring tor the night. He had a servant whose job was to get three annas' worth of malaee from a halwaae every evening. He became suspicious of this servant's honesty and engaged another to keep a watch over the fellow. The two servants came to an understanding. Instead of buying two annas' worth and pocketing one anna, they began to buy one anna's worth for their master and dividing the other two between themselves.
After some days the zamindar smelt collusion and hired a third servant to keep a watch on the other two. This time the three of them came to an understanding whereby they divided the three annas between themselves. At night they smeared their master's moustache with white paint. Next morning the zamindar spoke angrily to his servants, "I got no malaee last night. Why?" The servants protested that he had and showed him a mirror which showed more...