Shabbat Jokes

The conversation
[We Jews are not only not allowed to conduct business on Shabbat, we are not even supposed to talk about it...]
Yosef and Gidon meet in the synagogue one Shabbat morning.
Yosef: Not to talk about it on Shabbat, but I`m selling my car.
Gidon: Not to talk about it on Shabbat, but how much are you asking for it?
Yosef: Not to talk about it on Shabbat, but £13,000.
Gidon: Not to talk about it on Shabbat, but I`ll give you £12,000 for it.
Yosef: Not to talk about it on Shabbat, but let me think about it.
They meet again in the synagogue Shabbat afternoon.
Gidon: Not to talk about it on Shabbat, but did you think about my offer?
Yosef: Not to talk about it on Shabbat, but I already sold it.

You think a Hora is a high priced call girl.
You light your Shabbat candles with your cigarette.
Your belt buckle is bigger than your yarmulke.
Instead of a noisemaker, you've fired a shotgun at the sound of
Haman's name.
You have a gun rack in your Sukkah.
You think "KKK" is a symbol for really kosher.
You think marrying your first cousin is required according to
Jewish law.
You don't ride on Shabbat because your car is up on blocks.
When someone shouts L'chaim you respond L'howdy.
You are saving a bottle of Mogen David wine for some special
occasion.