Shadchen Jokes

Shadchen 1
A shadchen, having sung the praises of a female client, brought his excited male prospect to see her.
Cyril took one look at the girl to whom the shadchen elaborately introduced him and recoiled.
"What`s the matter?" asked the shadchen.
"You said she was young," whispered Cyril, "but she`s forty if she`s a day! You said she was beautiful, but she looks like a back of a bus! You said she was shapely, but she`s fat enough for two! You said --"
"You don`t have to whisper," said the shadchen. "She`s also hard of hearing."