Shadow Jokes / Recent Jokes

Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow,because it came too close

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of more...

Three blondes died and are up talking to St.Peter. He says, "I have one question and if you get it I will let you into heaven." He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"She answers, "Oh, that's that one time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey." St. Peter just shakes his head and says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"She answers, "Oh, that is the time of year when our family gets together and we all open presents and the fat jolly guy comes down the chimney."Again St.Peter just shakes his head. He asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?"She says, "Oh that's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb and rolled a rock in front of it."St. Peter smiles and urges, "Yes... go on..." The blonde continues, "Then once a year we roll the stone away and he comes out and if he sees his shadow we have six more weeks of winter." Blonde
Three Blondes Arrive At The more...

A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting.

Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence.

Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"

The patient calls back, "One moment!" and throws himself upon the ground, pulling out a short stick as he does. He pushes the stick into the ground, and, pulling out a carpenter`s level, assures himself that the stick is vertical.

With a compass, the patient locates north and with a steel ruler, measures the precise length of the shadow cast by the stick.

Withdrawing a slide rule from his pocket, the patient calculates rapidly, then swiftly packs up all his tools and turns back to the pedestrian, saying, "It is now precisely 3: 29 pm, provided today is August 16th, which I more...

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied:

"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.

For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead more...