Shag Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and his son were driving in the car, when a police pulled them over for speeding. "
Oh Shit!"
exclaimed the father.
"
What does shit mean daddy?"
Asked the little boy innocently.
"
It's...ummm, it's just what you sometimes call a police man."
When they got home, the father slipped on the doormat, "
Oh Piss!"
exclaimed the father.
"
What does piss mean daddy?"
Asked the boy innocently.
"
It's what you sometimes call, a doormat."
The father made his way to the boot rack and tripped over a chair exlaiming; "
Oh Shag!"
As he landed on it.
"
What does shag mean daddy?"
asked the little boy innocently.
"
It's another way of saying... Sit on."
The man went upstairs and was shaving his face,, when he cut himself. "
Of Bollocks!"
Exclaimed the man.
The little boy popped more...

Sheep Shagging
A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer.
"So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
"That's very interesting," replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.
"So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
"That's very interesting," replies the researcher. "That's how they do it in Cornwall too." And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Abergaveny.
"So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and more...

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer."So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall.""That's very interesting," replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer."So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?""Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall." "That's very interesting," replies the researcher. "That's how they do it in Cornwall too." And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Abergaveny."So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your sheep?""Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the more...

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer.
"So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
"That's very interesting," replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer.
"So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."
"That's very interesting," replies the researcher. "That's how they do it in Cornwall too." And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Abergaveny.
"So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"
"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie more...

I had been going out with my girlfriend for 4 years when i thought it was about time i 'popped the question'.
After a sweet and romantic meal, i got down on 1 knee and said:

" Honey, will you make me the happiest guy in the world "

" YES" came the response, with a big smile on her face and a tear in her eye.

" Good . . . so when can i shag your sister?" I replied