Shag Jokes

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits an English farmer.

"So, English farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"

"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."

"That's very interesting,"replies the researcher and he leaves the English farmer. Then he meets an Australian farmer.

"So, Australian farmer, how do you shag your sheep?"

"Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall."

"That's very interesting,"replies the researcher,"That's how they do it in England too."And he leaves the Australian farmer.

Then he meets a farmer from New Zealand.

"So, kiwi farmer, how do you shag your more...

A guy gets on a bus and sees this nun. He askes the bus driver "where can i meet her?"
The bus driver says "well" "ummm" "you can meet her at the church at 5:00pm on friday night but she wont just shag any man that comes up to her" "ok" says the man. So he goes to the church at 5:00pm on friday night dreesed as god and walks up to the nun and says" hi im god and i want to shag ya" the nun says yes. After they have both finished doing their bits the guy gets up and puts the suit back on and says to the nun "HA" "im not god im the guy off the bus" then the nun says "HA im not the nun, im the bus driver!!!

Men are like shag carpets. Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.

A researcher is conducting a survey into sheep shagging. First of all he visits a Cornish farmer." So, Cornish farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boot and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall." "That's very interesting," replies the researcher and he leaves the Cornish farmer. Then he meets a Midlands Farmer." So, Midlands farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of the sheep and put them over a wall." "That's very interesting," replies the researcher. "That's how they do it in Cornwall too." And he leaves the Midlands farmer. Then he meets a farmer from Abergaveny." So, Abergaveny farmer, how do you shag your sheep?" "Well, I take the hind legs of the sheep and put them down my wellie boots and take the front legs of more...

A man and his son were driving in the car, when a police pulled them over for speeding. "
Oh Shit!"
exclaimed the father.
"
What does shit mean daddy?"
Asked the little boy innocently.
"
It's...ummm, it's just what you sometimes call a police man."
When they got home, the father slipped on the doormat, "
Oh Piss!"
exclaimed the father.
"
What does piss mean daddy?"
Asked the boy innocently.
"
It's what you sometimes call, a doormat."
The father made his way to the boot rack and tripped over a chair exlaiming; "
Oh Shag!"
As he landed on it.
"
What does shag mean daddy?"
asked the little boy innocently.
"
It's another way of saying... Sit on."
The man went upstairs and was shaving his face,, when he cut himself. "
Of Bollocks!"
Exclaimed the man.
The little boy popped more...